Unhelpful Thinking Styles (also known as 'cognitive distortions') are patterns of negative or irrational thinking that can contribute to feelings of stress, anxiety, or depression. Recognizing these unhelpful patterns is the first step toward challenging and replacing them with healthier, more constructive thoughts.
What It Is: Seeing things as completely good or completely bad, with no middle ground.
- Example: “If I don’t succeed at this, I’m a total failure.”
- Impact: This creates unrealistic standards, making failure feel catastrophic.
How to Reframe:
- Look for shades of gray. Ask yourself, “Is there a more balanced way to view this?”
- Example Reframe: “Even if I didn’t succeed fully, I made progress and learned something.”
What It Is: Imagining the worst-case scenario or exaggerating the potential negative outcome.
- Example: “If I mess up this presentation, I’ll get fired and never find another job.”
- Impact: Increases stress and prevents you from seeing realistic outcomes.
How to Reframe:
- Challenge the thought: “What’s the most likely outcome?” or “What’s the worst that could happen, and how would I handle it?”
- Example Reframe: “Even if my presentation isn’t perfect, I can address feedback and improve.”
What It Is: Focusing only on the negative aspects of a situation and ignoring the positives.
- Example: “My boss praised me, but I made one small mistake, so I must be terrible at my job.”
- Impact: Leads to a skewed, overly negative perception of events.
How to Reframe:
- Practice balance: “What went well in this situation?”
- Example Reframe: “I made one mistake, but my boss appreciated my overall effort.”
What It Is: Drawing broad conclusions based on one single event or experience.
- Example: “I failed this test, so I’ll never be good at school.”
- Impact: Prevents growth and reinforces feelings of hopelessness.
How to Reframe:
- Look at the evidence: “Is this always true, or is it based on one instance?”
- Example Reframe: “I didn’t do well on this test, but I can study differently next time.”
What It Is: Blaming yourself for things outside your control or taking responsibility for others' emotions.
- Example: “It’s my fault my friend is upset—they seemed off after our conversation.”
- Impact: Creates unnecessary guilt and self-blame.
How to Reframe:
- Ask yourself: “Am I really responsible for this, or could there be other factors?”
- Example Reframe: “My friend might be upset about something unrelated to me.”
What It Is: Assuming you know what others are thinking without any evidence.
- Example: “They didn’t say hello, so they must dislike me.”
- Impact: Causes unnecessary worry and damages relationships.
How to Reframe:
- Ask for clarification: “What evidence do I have for this thought?”
- Example Reframe: “Maybe they were preoccupied. I can’t assume what they’re thinking.”
What It Is: Predicting the future negatively without any evidence.
- Example: “I’m going to fail this interview, so there’s no point in preparing.”
- Impact: Leads to self-fulfilling prophecies and discourages effort.
How to Reframe:
- Focus on the present: “What can I do now to improve the outcome?”
- Example Reframe: “I don’t know how the interview will go, but I can prepare and do my best.”
What It Is: Believing something is true because you “feel” it, even if there’s no evidence.
- Example: “I feel incompetent, so I must be bad at my job.”
- Impact: Feelings are treated as facts, reinforcing negativity.
How to Reframe:
- Separate feelings from facts: “Just because I feel this way doesn’t mean it’s true.”
- Example Reframe: “I feel nervous, but that doesn’t mean I’m not capable.”
What It Is: Criticizing yourself or others with unrealistic expectations of what “should” or “must” happen.
- Example: “I should always be productive, or I’m lazy.”
- Impact: Creates unnecessary pressure and feelings of failure.
How to Reframe:
- Replace “should” with “could” or “prefer”: “I’d prefer to be productive, but it’s okay to rest.”
- Example Reframe: “I can’t always be productive, and that’s normal.”
What It Is: Assigning yourself or others overly harsh, negative labels.
- Example: “I’m such a loser for making that mistake.”
- Impact: Reduces self-esteem and encourages a fixed mindset.
How to Reframe:
- Focus on the behavior, not the person: “What happened doesn’t define who I am.”
- Example Reframe: “I made a mistake, but I can learn from it and do better.”
What It Is: Exaggerating negatives or downplaying positives.
- Example (Magnification): “One typo ruined my whole report.”
- Example (Minimization): “They said I did a great job, but it wasn’t a big deal.”
- Impact: Creates a distorted and unbalanced perspective.
How to Reframe:
- Balance your perspective: “What’s the big picture here?”
- Example Reframe: “One typo doesn’t undo the overall quality of my report.”
What It Is: Either blaming yourself or others for situations without considering all factors.
- Example: “It’s entirely my fault that the project failed.”
- Impact: Leads to guilt, resentment, or feelings of helplessness.
How to Reframe:
- Share responsibility: “What factors contributed to this situation?”
- Example Reframe: “The project had challenges, and we all played a role in the outcome.”
Notice the Thought:
Pause and identify when you’re engaging in one of these thinking styles.
Ask Yourself Questions:
Am I jumping to conclusions?
Reframe the Thought:
Replace the distorted thought with a balanced and realistic perspective.
Practice Self-Compassion:
Be kind to yourself when you notice these patterns. Everyone has unhelpful thoughts from time to time.
By recognizing and challenging unhelpful thinking styles, you can build healthier mental habits, improve emotional resilience, and enhance your overall well-being.