Viewing situations as either all good or all bad, with no middle ground.
Example:
- “If I don’t get this promotion, I’m a complete failure.”
- “I made one mistake in my presentation, so it was a total disaster.”
Reframe:
- “Even if I didn’t get the promotion, it doesn’t mean I’m not talented. I can try again.”
- “My presentation went well overall, despite one small mistake.”
Drawing broad conclusions based on a single event or experience.
Example:
- “I failed my first driving test, so I’ll never pass.”
- “They didn’t text me back today—nobody cares about me.”
Reframe:
- “One setback doesn’t mean I won’t succeed next time. I can improve and try again.”
- “They might just be busy. It doesn’t mean no one cares about me.”
Imagining the worst-case scenario and assuming it’s inevitable.
Example:
- “If I make a mistake at work, I’ll lose my job and never find another one.”
- “I have a headache—it must be something serious like a brain tumor.”
Reframe:
- “Making a mistake is normal, and I can learn from it. It’s unlikely I’ll lose my job over one error.”
- “It’s just a headache. If it persists, I can see a doctor, but it’s probably nothing serious.”
Blaming yourself for things outside your control or assuming everything is about you.
Example:
- “My friend seemed upset today—it must be something I did.”
- “The project failed because I wasn’t good enough.”
Reframe:
- “Maybe my friend is dealing with something unrelated to me.”
- “There were many factors in the project’s outcome, not just my contributions.”
Assuming you know what others are thinking without any evidence.
Example:
- “They didn’t smile at me, so they must think I’m annoying.”
- “My boss hasn’t replied to my email—they probably think it’s a stupid idea.”
Reframe:
- “I can’t know what they’re thinking. Maybe they were just distracted.”
- “My boss might be busy. I’ll follow up politely if needed.”
Predicting a negative future without any evidence.
Example:
- “I’ll never find a partner—I’m going to end up alone forever.”
- “I know I’m going to mess up this interview.”
Reframe:
- “I can’t predict the future, but I can take steps to meet new people and build connections.”
- “I’ve prepared well for this interview. I’ll focus on doing my best.”
Believing something is true because you feel it, even when there’s no factual evidence.
Example:
- “I feel like I’m a failure, so I must be one.”
- “I feel anxious about this meeting—it’s going to go terribly.”
Reframe:
- “Just because I feel like a failure doesn’t mean I am one. I’ve achieved many things.”
- “Feeling anxious is normal, but it doesn’t mean the meeting will go badly.”
Setting rigid expectations for yourself or others, often leading to guilt, frustration, or disappointment.
Example:
- “I should always be productive. Taking a break means I’m lazy.”
- “They should know how I’m feeling without me telling them.”
Reframe:
- “Resting is important for my well-being, and it doesn’t mean I’m lazy.”
- “I can’t expect people to read my mind. I need to express my feelings openly.”
Exaggerating the negatives or downplaying the positives.
Example (Magnification):
- “I got one negative comment, so I must be terrible at my job.”
Example (Minimization):
- “I received a lot of compliments, but they don’t really matter.”
Reframe:
- “One negative comment doesn’t define my abilities. Overall, I’ve received positive feedback.”
- “The compliments I received show that I’m doing a good job and should take pride in my work.”
Assigning yourself or others a negative label based on one incident or behavior.
Example:
- “I forgot to submit the report on time—I’m so irresponsible.”
- “They didn’t call me back—they’re so selfish.”
Reframe:
- “I made a mistake, but that doesn’t make me an irresponsible person. I can do better next time.”
- “Maybe they forgot or are busy. It doesn’t mean they’re selfish.”
Either blaming yourself for everything or blaming others without taking personal responsibility.
Example (Blaming Yourself):
- “It’s my fault my friend is upset. I’m such a bad friend.”
Example (Blaming Others):
- “This is all their fault. If they hadn’t done that, everything would’ve been fine.”
Reframe:
- “I’ll ask my friend how they’re feeling instead of assuming it’s my fault.”
- “I need to take responsibility for my part in this, but others may have contributed too.”
Focusing only on the negatives while ignoring the positives in a situation.
Example:
- “The team said they liked my presentation, but I stumbled over one sentence, so it was terrible.”
- “I got 95% on the exam, but I missed 5%, so I failed myself.”
Reframe:
- “The presentation went well overall, and one stumble doesn’t change that.”
- “A 95% is a great score! I’ll celebrate my achievement.”
Believing that external events are directly related to you, even when they’re not.
Example:
- “They’re in a bad mood—it must be because of something I said.”
- “They didn’t invite me, so they must not like me anymore.”
Reframe:
- “Their mood could be caused by something unrelated to me.”
- “Maybe the invite was an oversight, or there’s another reason for it.”
| Unhelpful Thought | Reframed Thought |
|-----------------------------------------------|--------------------------------------------------|
| “I always mess up.” | “I made a mistake this time, but I can learn from it.” |
| “They must hate me because they didn’t reply.” | “They might be busy, and it doesn’t mean they dislike me.” |
| “If I’m not perfect, I’ll fail.” | “Nobody is perfect, and I can succeed even if I make mistakes.” |
By identifying and challenging unhelpful thinking styles, you can foster a healthier, more balanced mindset.